Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Big little stuff

It's relevant that there isn't a care in the world. You say it's too small or little to matter. Yeah well it's the little things that causes the big things; it grows,it festers, it becomes real. I feel that it's coming ever so close to make a change ....

Monday, June 13, 2011


See I was trying to be your confidant. I tried to be make things better. You push me into a corner and act childish of course I will be the same too. Don't try to act like it's my fault. You know my condition you know what I've dealt with.
I am a doctor note away from having a serious problem.
I gave you what you want under distress you cannot force one to do what you want as this is not the way life goes.
I have never forced anyone to do anything against their will. Never! Never! Never!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Better than human

You have known my situation. You know how things have been for me. Just because you have one day of turmoil I am suppose to erase this period of darkness away? It don't work like that. I a human with human feelings. I understand your a human too but as the saying goes I have to make me better before I can make anyone else better.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


GeoTagged, [N40.04247, E86.11756]

Well its been a long time since I wrote here. I am wiping away the cobwebs; removing the dust. My talent has never diminished to this I just felt that I didn't need this but I guess I wasnt fully truthful with myself.

There are plenty of other demons within that still need to escape. My doc tells me I should get back to writing as it helps me through this. So here. I am back at writing.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Is it normal for a person to sleep their weekend away?
Is it good that a person only eats one meal in a 24 hour period?
Why do I keep returning to this place? This is not a place I choose to be at. Jesus I put my hands in yours in hopes that you can guide me through. I know you warn me that it will get dim before it will get bright again. But why does have to be so dark? Why does it have to be so lonely. I ask you why.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

October 12

It's been a while since I been at this place. I thought this place no longer existed within me but I guess life has a way to bringing you back to where you belong. I don't think I can fight this anymore. I don't know what to do. I want to scream and run but I know I can't. To be the strong mean your able to stand up for what your normally afraid to do. I can't do that anymore.

I wanna just throw in the towel. I want to say I'm done you win. I will make people mad at me. I feel giving in winning and continue to fight losing this battle.

Please make demons in my head go away!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Eff it July

Whoa! This has been hell of a month! I feel like I have been kicked, punched and jumped for 31 days but guess what jerks I am still here. I survived because one person ensured that I would!
I have lost of lot in the last 31 days but it gave me the opportunity to realize that no one on this planet have your back like he does.
The trust that I have lost; the friendships I have lost was severe! I thank you all whom turned your back on me because I realize I don't need you.
My journey has never been so long. The fight has never been so severe. I have made a promise to a few that I won't give up. So I can't ; no I won't.
One thing I have learned is that no one on this big blue ball has my interest in hand but me. This has taught me one thing: “I must stay focus.”
They say the world is cold, I refuse to believe it I say grab a jacket and make your path!